For the final instalment of the Love Series, we will end with the most popular reason for relationship breakdowns and break-ups.
Communication is the driving force for a relationship to thrive in the storms and in the sun. It helps to develop a stronger bond with your partner, to create a gateway for vulnerability to take place and dissipate any fears that either partner has to take the relationship to the next level.
We can look to our attachment styles, which were shaped by our early caregivers to discover how we interact and communicate in our adulthood. For instance, a child who grew up with parents who refused to acknowledge their feelings or share emotions can grow up to become avoidant to their partners concerns and feelings because they learned from an early age that talking about feelings and sharing emotions were not welcomed. Therefore, they may become more logical than emotional in particular situations.
Signs of poor communication in relationships are:
Not listening
Invalidate your feelings
Refuse to engage or avoid conversations that require vulnerability and intimacy
Always want to win arguments
Silent treatment
Being critical towards your partner
Although these signs of poor communication may seem like it’s leading to the end. Together, you can walk the path of the choosing to make it work by actively doing the following:
Active listening to your partner’s concerns and feelings
Understand each other’s perspective - ‘we’ instead of ‘I’
Showing kindness
Being present when having a conversation with your partner
Accepting that your partner may not always get it right, but recognise their efforts - even the small ones
Make a commitment to continue working on your relationship
Hold yourself accountable
Patience - some behaviours will take time to adjust to the new workings of your relationship
If you would like to work with me to explore communication issues and become a better partner in your relationship, you can email me: tanya.therapies.london@gmail.com
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